What’s wrong with being a virgin?

Virginity is one of the big shackles of youth. One of those things that young people are very nervous about. And it’s no wonder that things are like that. Everyday we are all subjected to nudity and sex wherever we go. Advertising, magazine covers, newspapers, websites and small talk, all revolve around sex. There’s so much information that everybody is expected to know a lot about sex. If one is caught unaware of the trendy sex positions, the latest sex jokes or out of synch with the popular attitude on some issue or other, that person is seen as out of touch with reality. If you add virginity to the whole thing, it gets even worse.




Traditionally, virginity has been associated with naïveté and with a certain lack of knowledge about the important facts of life. Virginity still conjures images of blushing maidens from the 19th century and the person who admits to still being a virgin at the age of 16, 17, 18, 19 or whatever, is seen as a completely inexperienced individual, as the world at large conveniently forgets that one must be born deaf and blind not to know nearly all the theory on sex before fifth grade. The age of first intercourse has been dropping steadily over the past decades for both boys and girls. And that’s just first intercourse. Oral sex starts earlier.

There seems to be a whole lot of sex going on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, but I object to sex being seen as some kind of ultimate thing in life, right next to money. I don’t like to see young people feeling pressured into having early and risky sex. I don’t like to read news about young girls going to the abortion clinic, just because other people with not a lot of brains told them that sex is a really good idea without mentioning condoms or pills. Frankly, I think that this is the only thing that shows how inexperienced virgin youths are. If you’re willing to have risky sex just to prove to your friends that you can do it, then you don’t know much about this world.

What all youths should understand is that being a virgin or not is a private issue. It’s nobody’s business what you are and what you’re not. People who tell you that losing your virginity is some kind of magic ticket to the land of mature, sophisticated and knowledgeable people are lying. Maturity comes with age and not with an early and hurried intercourse. Chasing girls or boys around and being willing to get laid at any price is not a mature or sophisticated attitude. If you want to lose your virginity, then find a person whom you have feelings for and who is likely to share your feelings.

There is no universal rule about the age at which one should get rid of the virgin status. We are unique individuals and the only good answer to the eternal question “When should I have sex for the first time” is “Whenever you feel ready”. Rushing to take advantage of the first opportunity that comes along is like playing the Russia roulette. You might score big, but then again, you might end up in a very bad situation. If you really want to have sex, then take the trouble to educate yourself about the hazards because thirty seconds of pleasure should not be paid with two weeks of fear while waiting for test results.


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